do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
