Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
