O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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