Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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