i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
