we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We were destined to go to rehab together
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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