from now on my penis is your penis
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize