I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
a search helicopter?!
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
