if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
