Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
