if i can run in heels then i can drive
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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