You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Randomize
