Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
