Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
