I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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