Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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