it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
