So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
