wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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