She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
