She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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