when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
