My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize