i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
