dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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