Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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