Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I die, sorry about rent.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
