Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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