Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
