went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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