I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
