Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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