There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
