What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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