I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
