The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
