Rock
Scissors
Fuck
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
