How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
