The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
