This girl is more easily done than said...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
