Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
