Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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