I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
