Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
this is an emotional support booty call
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
