this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
