Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
