i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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