So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
did i walk over a car last night?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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