real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
