i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
