I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
