guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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