i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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