Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
