I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
