Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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