We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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