i was born a porn star she said
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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