You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
