he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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