She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
