Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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