Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
